By Alex Szebenyi
On Acquaint, I've experienced something close to altruism. After every one-on-one intercultural dialogue session on the platform, volunteers have the opportunity to write an appreciation note for each other. Without even knowing whether they will speak to each other again, many take up this opportunity to write moving, meaningful messages like this one:
“I had an absolutely great time with you, Karigya! You made my headache go away! Thank you for sharing your experience in the USA! I loved talking to you, it was like talking with an old friend! ❤️”
It is a simple act. It doesn't take much time, but it often captures a moment of pure good where one person truly wants another to feel happy and recognized. At a time when many public sources of information conspire to make us see the worst in other groups, these messages show that the best qualities of humanity transcend our social identity. All humanity is worth fighting for.
Importantly, appreciation is something we can choose to do.
We all have some basic humanity in common that leads to deeper and more meaningful connections when we search for it. Although we will inevitably "click" with some people more naturally than others, we can become better collaborators by taking the time to appreciate each other. By taking the time to appreciate one another, we focus more on why we should work together rather than on the things that divide us.
Taking the time and effort to appreciate others regularly is transformative, perhaps primarily for ourselves. A world filled with people we appreciate is a world filled with hope.
Why Practice Appreciation?
“Gratitude is one of the least articulate of the emotions, especially when it is deep.”
In addition to improving relationships, practicing gratitude and appreciation also benefits our physical and mental health. According to UCLA Health, regularly practicing gratitude can reduce anxiety, improve sleep, support heart health, and reduce depression.
The act of appreciation can also help bridge divides. If we can get past some of the unconstructive rhetoric and connect with people we disagree with, appreciation can motivate us to work through some of the toughest situations.
We need to counter the trends of hate and divisiveness and find the parts of each other that remind us we are humans worthy of love and respect, even if we see things very differently.
“Thanks for your efforts to make the session work, you're a great mentor and I'm sure you're gonna make a special trace in Acquaint. I really enjoyed the topics, we together learnt how stereotypes don't actually match the reality. You're really funny and open minded person, Thanks for encouraging me to do more sessions to meet other great people like you.”
If we try to appreciate each other's humanity, we will continue to get better at finding it, making more space to transform conflict into progress.
Done regularly, appreciation is a practice that can bring great benefits.
Ideas for Practicing Appreciation
To make the most out of our ability to appreciate, we recommend practicing it daily to see the greatest impacts. There are many ways to do this. Interested in making appreciation a healthy new habit? Consider trying to do the following daily:
While I consider myself introverted, adopting an appreciation habit has made me a more sociable person. I regularly feel better about my interactions with people and am more motivated to engage with them.
- Think of every person you’ve interacted with today. Can you find something to be grateful for in each of them? You don't need to say it out loud unless you want to. It could be for something big or something small. Maybe you appreciated a thoughtful question they asked or a compliment they gave you. Perhaps they are a stranger or a significant figure in your life. You might even feel gratitude for a challenging interaction that taught you something new.
- Envision each of those interactions once more. This time, can you appreciate or feel gratitude for something YOU said or did? Self-gratitude is important. Other people won't always recognize our efforts, but we can recognize and appreciate them ourselves. Whether you succeeded in your goals or not, how did you try to make a positive difference for those around you? Maybe you encouraged someone having a tough day or demonstrated patience with someone who was upset with you. Appreciating our own actions can make us feel better about our contributions and encourage us to continue good habits, which also has a positive ripple effect on those around us.
“Fatima, it was such a hearty session. It was comfortable and I spoke my mind without any hesitation. The situation between our countries may be grim but talking with you has proven to me once again how alike we are and just how wrong the perception people have of your country is. Thank you for explaining all the things I was curious to know about Pakistan, you're an awesome session partner. You're such a strong and brave person. Your optimistic personality has taught me that no matter where we live in or what state we're in, we can always find light. Hope you never give up on your dream, set it ablaze and let it take you to the place you want to achieve. I'm sure you'll become an awesome teacher both in brains and personality. From the bottom of my heart I hope to have another session with you. Sending you lots of love from India all the way to Pakistan just for you dear💗🥰”
If you haven't already, try starting a practice of appreciation today!
The world's problems will require massive collective action to fix. Become part of the movement to promote civility, empathy, and collaboration, and see the benefits with your own eyes. Acquaint volunteers actively train appreciation and other human connection skills and use them to build stronger communities. Help us level up human connection by signing up to volunteer HERE or staying up to date with Acquaint by registering for our newsletter below!